Faith On Friday - Abram Back On Track

Last week our sermon and Bible study focused on Abram's lies about Sarai being his sister and his sojourn and exit from Egypt. Our lovely teacher Elise pointed out that we know the process for Esther to be "purified" and ready to be presented to the king, took about a year. We wondered if that were also true in Egypt and therefore that Abram, Sarai, Lot and all their peoples had been in Egypt for quite some time. At any rate, by the events in Genesis 13, we know that the famine was gone or conditions had at least improved. Abram was back in Canaan with more wealth than he had when he left. This week we focused on how Abram began to turn his faith and life in the right direction.

Genesis 13:4 tells us that when Abram came back to where he had first built an altar, he called on the name of the Lord.

When we blow it and we recognize it - the FIRST thing we need to do is call on the name of the Lord! Even if we are not ready to repent (change our ways) or ask for forgiveness - we still need His help and wisdom to get out of the messes we make for ourselves. Don't you think that's true, that most of the time, we are the ones making our own mess? I realize that many people are harmed by others and have injustices against them, but sometimes even then, we make it worse for ourselves. My theory is that it boils down to our number one sin of PRIDE - ever since Eve failed in the garden, we have been trying to be in charge of our own lives, ignoring God until we cry out. I am not writing this against anyone else, but just admitting that sadly, too many times in my own life I have found this to be true.

But, Abram had learned a lesson, or so we think, and now he is seeking God. After he has sought God's wisdom, he does an amazing thing. He totally humbles himself before Lot. Now, Abram is Lot's elder and possibly his guardian after the death of his father, Abram's brother. Lot's wealth has already been acquired through the blessings upon Abram. There is no human reason why, nor a cultural reason why he would do this.

Our teacher told us that many theologians compare this to Christ who "humbled himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross!" (Philippians 2:8 NIV). There is much in the Old Testament that foreshadows the coming of Christ. The more I read it the more I see it and it has almost become a treasure hunt. It is a pet peeve of mine that many Christians dismiss the Old Testament. They are forgetting 2 Tim 3:16-17 where Paul tells his protege Timothy that ALL Scripture is inspired by God. As a matter of fact that is my children's SS memory verse. When Paul wrote that, Scripture was primarily the Old Testament. So, I encourage you to go hunting for jewels in the richness of the history of God's relationship with His children.

Abram humbled himself before Lot and gave him a choice. Lot chose what he could see. Instant gratification with little effort required to prosper. He looked out and saw the green pastures and fertile land.

I've never really liked Lot. Is that okay to admit, that you don't like someone in the Bible?! His story is just so "eww" in so many ways. Judas Iscariot compels me to more compassion than Lot. Of course this is purely emotional observation. I was surprised when our teacher read 2 Peter 2:6-8 which proclaims Lot a righteous man. Hmmm... now I am the one humbled. It's a good thing that I am not personally under the microscope; perhaps I would not fare as well as Lot!

Lot goes one to greener pastures :o) and there is no record of grumbling or complaint on Abram's part. He settles in Canaan and the Lord tells him to look as far as he can see - north, south, east and west - all the land would belong to him and his offspring. The EAST where Lot had chosen the prime real estate was even promised to Abram.

Abram had consulted with God, worshipped God and chosen God's path for his life, therefore he could humble himself before Lot and wait and trust on the Lord. Abram exemplified in this circumstance, the truth of Matthew 6:25+... that we seek first Him and His Kingdom and all these things (all the things we need and even sometimes wants are thrown in to delight us!) are given to us. He did not worry.

Lot trusted in what he could see.

Abram trusted in God.

2 Corinthians 5:1-10 shares Paul's views. He fully grasped the limitations of his humanness and the hugeness of his God.

"We live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

The writer of Hebrews tells us that Abraham's faith was credited to him as righteousness.

So, this week I have been thinking about that. And you know what? Right away it was tested. It was like the enemy said, "AHA! You can't trust Him, look what's going to happen! What will you do?"

The day after Bible study we found out that the brakes on our van ALL need to be replaced and are metal to metal. Part of me panicked momentarily because we have had this nice little trip for D's birthday planned - going to Monterrey and the Aquarium and the Ocean! I looked at Hubby and said "Let's not freak. Let's sit down and pray." Their were only 2 ways we could get brakes (a priority) and go on our trip. The first was to not pay our tithe. The second was to max out our credit card. Neither of these would honor our Lord! After praying, I remembered that the Steinhart Aquarium at the California Academy of Sciences just reopened after lengthy repairs post earthquake damage (1989 I believe). So, instead of a three day even with a motel stay, we can make a day trip and see some of the same things. Praise God we had that money set aside for the trip... if we had not, then we would just be without the van until we could come up with that huge sum! It would have been do-able, but difficult. And another praise God! We safely made it home, FULLY LOADED, over several passes in August!

It reminded me of something from my high school years. Andy, my stepfather, whom I called "Dad", always had connections. He was a people person, a good manager and always loved helping people. Through one of these connections he had a car for me. He told me that this person he knew had a car that I could have for $300 and he was willing to do that for me. Okay, slap my silly teenage brain! I said, "What kind of car can it be for $300?" Later I found out it was something really desirable... something like a little Cougar, I can't remember but it was at the time a really cool car, well taken care of and only $300 as a favor to Andy. He taught me a lesson. No, he did not buy me the car because I had a bad attitude. That lesson was hard learned but has stuck with me and has come to mind several times since then as I have more carefully chosen my words! I could not trust my Dad who wanted to give me something good. I could only trust what I could "see" with my brain - an old falling apart jalopy for $300!

How many times have I also done that with my Heavenly Father, who desires to give me only good? Instead I do not trust Him. The Creator of the entire Universe and I cannot trust Him! If I cannot trust Him, who can I trust? Sometimes I get too big for my britches and I think that I know what's best for me. Sometimes my pride grows like Pinocchio's nose! And just like I missed out on a really cool car (and didn't have a car of my own until college, after Andy died), I know that I have missed out on some really cool things my Abba Daddy wanted to do for me because I thought I knew better. Patiently He waits for me. I don't want to try that patience. He is a LOVING God but He is also HOLY and JUST!

Oddly, in all the years of Bible study, I have never studied Abram/Abraham before. I'm enjoying the class taught by one of our pastors wives and learning from the women of all age that are joined together to share. It's such a beautiful way to learn. On Sunday we hear the message from the pulpit and on Tuesday we discuss it further. I'm surprised that each week, something new touches me in these old stories. But then again, some things He has had to teach me over and over. Growing in faith is that way. The key thing is to pick ourselves back up when we fall, brush ourselves off and keep moving forward with Him.

If you have found yourself drifting from your relationship with Him or sinning in such a way that keeps your pride from letting you come back, please don't be afraid. The Bible is full of examples of people who did not deserve the Lord's mercy and yet He gave it freely and still does today. He knows your heart and He misses you. If you would like me to pray for you, please feel free to email me off blog (upper right hand corner on the sidebar) and I will sincerely be honored to pray for you in confidence. God be with you all this weekend as you hear His Word and/or praise and fellowship with other Believers.

Wellness Wednesday

Hi Everyone. I don't know about you, but our household has been blogged down by September allergies. Pollen is racing around there with last ditch efforts to make a mark on the planet. It has not been a fun week or two and I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed and fighting off a migraine. At times like this, it can be difficult to keep motivated, so I have been working on doing some positive things.

Last Thursday I began physical therapy and have been exercising my knee and gradually testing the waters with more walking/standing. The scary thing is that after this, my knee hurts more. It's not the support muscles either, it's the nerves that get irritated by that torn meniscus. It's scary because I think this might mean surgery in the future. While it is safe and "easy" as far as surgeries go, I do not want to have any surgery unnecessarily. So, I will continue with physical therapy for now and see if this changes. Tomorrow I have physical therapy and I am so looking forward to massage and ultrasound of my thigh and hip because all of this has made my bursitis worse. (It's the same leg.) I am not giving up, but I am discouraged.

My weight is staying steady at 312#. I wish I could say it was going down, but with little exercise, how could it? I'll have to be careful though because this week I have done a lot of baking.

Monday I baked and made these. Last week I played with sourdough, which was fun and nummy. This summer I acquired quite a few new cookbooks geared towards healthy eating and so I am wanting to experiment with recipes.

After lamenting that I couldn't do the organizing I had planned on doing this fall in hopes of putting the trailer up for sale in the spring, Susan had challenged me to organize things that I could do sitting down. I took the challenge and have been traveling spot to spot with my comfortable folding camp chair, which is light enough for me to carry without hurting myself (since you use knees in carrying weight - which you don't likely know unless you hurt your knees!). So last week I organized my cookbooks, herbs and spices. Today I am cleaning a small shelf under the window in the living room that held knitting patterns I print off the net, magazines etc. I am putting all my cooking, health and outdoor magazines there as well as the stacks of magazines I have purchased in the last year. This is where I sit to knit or watch DVDs, so they are handy to pick up and sort through. Then I can put them where they belong, toss, donate etc. I am a magazine junky and need to work on this. I probably could save a minimum of $100 a year if I didn't buys so many impulsively and subscribed to a few that I buy repeatedly!

I know it might not sound like these things have anything to do with health, but they really do. It's hard to be happy and relaxed in a chaotic environment. My house is cluttered and I have CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome - I think this might come from FLYlady). This does not reflect my inner heart. And just like my body size and shape does not reflect my soul and my person, neither do my surroundings. Part of my journey to wholeness and wellness is to work on all these things. One of the ways I encourage myself in this process, is that I know when I do give up things, I am preparing to hopefully one day leave this little tin box we call home! :o)

Does anyone else do fall cleaning? I feel more incentive to do this in the fall than the spring. Maybe it's a way of fluffing up the nest in preparation for the winter!

You Know You Homeschool When...

During recess one child says to the other, "You be the nomad, okay?!" :o)

Stormy Weather

My friend The Virginia Queen Bee has been posting pictures of Sky Watch Friday for awhile now and been encouraging me to do so, since I obviously love to photograph God's Creation! :o) In the past I have also been drawn to the Saturday Sky posts, but have not joined that either. Right now the Friday would conflict with my Faith on Friday, but I still haven't ruled it out.

Anyway, today was HARD. There are just some days as moms where the battle seems to rage and all forces are aiming their attack at you! We all survived, but I am exhausted. I sent out a cry for prayer help to my friends on the Christian Artisans list and had a good cry on the phone with my Mom during her lunch break (thanks Mom!). When Hubby was taking out the trash he said, "Hey! There's a rainbow!" By the time I hobbled out it was gone, but I felt comforted knowing it was there. God has a pattern of putting rainbows in my life to remind me that just like He promised Noah that He would never again destroy the word by flood, He will NEVER give me more than I can bear. It feels pretty close at times. Boy howdy! But it is never too much!

Here is what it looks like when I stand in front of our trailer and face the neighbor catty corner to us. This is not photoshopped! Isn't it gorgeous. The air was warm and charged and alive with the storm passing through. Before I went in, slow, heavy raindrops began to fall. The kind that are huge and go plop! plop! No wonder I have had a sinus migraine. Now that it has rained a little this morning and this evening, it seems the pressure is breaking up.

As I was watching the storm roll in I thought of a poem/song, that I wrote when I was in high school. It's corny - the kind of sappy, romantic thing a petulant and moody teenager would write. It started out:

Stormy weather,

Tossed by the seas of life,

Only Jesus,

Can comfort in strife.

Corny! Yes, but so true! I need to "practice what I preach" and when I am overwhelmed I know that no matter what comfort I seek elsewhere, ultimately I need to go to the source. Isn't it nice how God encourages us through these gentle nudges? (Even when we sometimes deserve to be "zapped" by the storm!)

Songs On Sunday

Lake Crescent, Olympic National Park, Washington

Today during our worship service, I felt bathed in the love of the Lord. I don't believe how I feel is important to worshipping the Lord. Singing the songs and participating in corporate worship is not meant to be for me, but I think too often in this day and age we are looking for what we can get out of the experience. That is normal to a point and I think there are some reasons that are appropriate for leaving a church. During the last year I have been trying to focus on God and my relationship with Him as I worship. Posting Songs On Sunday has come out of that. There are some Sundays when I need to close my eyes to keep my brain thinking about my family, my comfort level, my clothes, what other people are doing, what I need to do that afternoon or during the week etc. Since doing this I find that I can appreciate my time worshipping Him more.

Then there are days like today.

Today I felt bathed in the presence of the Holy Spirit and wanted to sing my heart out! Unfortunately allergies are making my voice crack, but I felt the joy anyway, more than I usually do. After a stressful week of doctor appointments, kids going crazy with allergy symptoms and a lot of other things going on, this JOY felt like a gift from HIM!

A fawn deer near Lake Crescent.

The worship was enhanced by some awesome news that Pastor Mike shared with us. Our church has an Arabic sister church which meets in our building in the afternoon. Today an 18 year old Iraqi refugee was baptized. AMEN! This is a HUGE thing. So amazing. God is so awesome. It's easy to feel at times that people do not want to know about Jesus, especially people who come from places like Iraq. It's also easy to think that the person in the cubicle next to you at work doesn't want to hear about God. Maybe that's true, maybe that's not. When I was in the working world, I found it difficult to share my faith with people. I don't think that my life was a very good witness at that point either. Today a man was sharing about his son and I asked him if his son had accepted Christ. He didn't know, but felt that he was getting good influence in the youth group. I encouraged him to ask! It might be the most important question he ever asks his son!

I am thinking about whether there is someone in my life I need to ask or share the Lord with.

I can't help but believe there is truth to the idea that angel's dance every time someone asks Jesus in their heart. It makes my heart sing every time I hear someone's testimony and I see the miracle working power of God's love. It's a reminder that He is in control - not the enemy who is the prince of this world, but GOD! Amen!

We stand and lift up our hands

For the joy of the Lord is our strength

We bow down and worship Him now

How great, how awesome is He

And together we sing

[Chorus]

Holy is the Lord God Almighty

The earth is filled with His glory

Holy is the Lord God Almighty

The earth is filled with His glory

The earth is filled with His glory

We stand and lift up our hands

For the joy of the Lord is our strength

We bow down and worship Him now

How great, how awesome is He

And together we sing

Everyone sing

[Chorus]

Holy is the Lord God Almighty

The earth is filled with His glory

Holy is the Lord God Almighty

The earth is filled with His glory

The earth is filled with His glory

It's rising up all around

It's the anthem of the Lord's renown

Repeat

Chris Tomlin

Rialto Beach, Olympic National Park, Washington

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Romans 1:20

Bumblebee and Fireweed

"Praise to the Lord, the Almighty"

by Joachim Neander, 1650-1680

Translated by Catherine Winkworth, 1829-1878

1. Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of creation!

O my soul, praise Him, for He is Thy Health and Salvation!

Join the full throng:

Wake, harp and psalter and song;

Sound forth in glad adoration!

2. Praise to the Lord, who o'er all things so wondrously reigneth,

Who, as on wings of an eagle, uplifteth, sustaineth.

Hast thou not seen

How thy desires all have been

Granted in what He ordaineth?

3. Praise to the Lord, who hath fearfully, wondrously, made thee;

Health hath vouchsafed and, when heedlessly falling, hath stayed thee.

What need or grief

Ever hath failed of relief?--

Wings of His mercy did shade thee.

4. Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee,

Who from the heavens the streams of His mercy doth send thee.

Ponder anew

What the Almighty can do,

Who with His love doth befriend thee.

5. Praise to the Lord! Oh, let all that is in me adore Him!

All that hath life and breath, come now with praises before Him!

Let the Amen

Sound from His people again;

Gladly for aye we adore Him.

Doe and Fawn, Hurricane Ridge, Olympic National Park, Washington

What can I add to that old German Lutheran hymn! Isn't it beautiful? It's rich and beautiful and wonderful and I can't help but think that the author had a heart bursting with joy, trying to express his love for God.

Psalm 100
A psalm.

For giving thanks.

1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;

come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.

It is he who made us, and we are his;

we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving

and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations.

From NIV courtesy of Bible Gateway

I'm sorry that blogger makes the lines come across weird. We read this responsively as a congregation. This is a practice that many modern churches have written off as old fashioned or too "stiff". Personally, I think there is something powerful about all those voices joined together speaking His Living Word.

Deer at Hurricane Ridge, Olympic National Park, Washington

One of the things I am looking forward to when God restores us to a new Earth is seeing how the animals will be different - when they will be how God created them to be, as we will be. The Bible says that if we fail to praise Him, even the stones will cry out. The Psalms write about Creation singing praises to its Creator. Everything that God created is already so amazing, I can't wait to see His original Design!

Mount Olympus from Hurricane Ridge, Olympic National Park

Give thanks to the Lord

Our God and King

His love endures forever

For He is good, He is above all things

His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise

With a mighty hand and outstretched arm

His love endures forever

For the life that's been reborn

His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise

Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah

Forever God is faithful

Forever God is strong

Forever God is with us

Forever

Forever

From the rising to the setting sun

His love endures forever

By the grace of God

We will carry on

His love endures forever

Sing praise, sing praise

Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah

Forever God is faithful

Forever God is strong

Forever God is with us

Forever

Forever

Forever God is faithful

Forever God is strong

Forever God is with us

Forever

Forever

Forever

His love endures forever

His love endures forever

His love endures forever

Forever

Sing praise, sing praise

Sing praise, sing praise

Yeah

Forever you are faithful

Forever you are strong

Forever you are with us

Forever

And ever

Chris Tomlin

Rialto Beach, Olympic National Park, Washington

6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,

their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;

he puts the deep into storehouses.

8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;

let all the people of the world revere him.

Psalm 36:6-8

Three of the most precious gifts He has given me - D, J, A.

Maybe as you read this, you don't feel like praising Him. We all feel like that at times. As in our earthly relationships, it's not about what we feel. Love is when the relationship keeps on going and growing in spite of how you "feel". Be patient. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you!

Faith on Friday

Our church is continuing the sermon series and Bible study on Abram/Abraham, this week focusing on Genesis 12:10-20 when Abram went to Egypt. This is one of those passages of Scripture that has bothered me. It doesn't alter my faith, but as a woman growing up in our time period, it really irritates me. My first reaction is, "What kind of a creep let's his wife be taken off by another man like that just to protect himself??!!" If you didn't read the passage, undoubtedly you now recognize it as the time Abram told Pharaoh that Sarai was his sister, but neglected to say that she was also his wife.



Apparently in the Egyptian culture of that time, adultery was unacceptable, but killing a man and taking his widow was okay. Okay! So, with that in mind, it is somewhat understandable, but it poses the question, "Is it ever okay to lie?" My gut response is to say quite emphatically, "NO!"



What Abram shared was only a half lie because Sarai was his half sister, but obviously the half not shared was important. What if telling the truth would cost someone's life? Gulp! That one is a little more difficult. I have never been placed in that position, but have met people who lived behind the Iron Curtain or survived the Holocaust in Europe and there were times for them when telling the truth or the whole truth would have had dire consequences.



Let me clearly state that I do not believe in "situational ethics", but I sure hope I am not put in the position of trying to decide that for myself. I am not sure that I can even answer my own question. Recently I studied both the Gospel of Mark and the Gospel of John and so I thought about Jesus' responses to leadership. He never lied, but some times he never answered the question. Perhaps that would need to be my response if I were ever put in that type of position.



It's easy to judge Abram or other characters in the Bible and think, "How stupid are you?!" But we have the retrospect of time and scholarly wisdom, the indwelling Holy Spirit and the example of their historic mistakes. When I give it thought, I cannot be the one to cast the proverbial first stone.



Abram's biggest mistake was to rely on his own understanding and his own means, not God's. Doing this, he fell flat on his face. Poor Sarai and even Pharaoh and his household suffered the consequences of Abram's actions.



During my twenties, I made many mistakes like this. Fortunately (depending on how you look at it), I suffered most of the consequences. The fall out hit me. Nearly a decade was lost before I righted myself and listened fully to His voice. It is senseless to dwell on that time as He has forgiven me and there isn't much I can do now, but as I grow older, I realize how precious that time was that was lost. Like Abram, I failed the same "test" more than once. Like Abram, God blessed me afterwards in spite of myself and I do not take that for granted.



Proverbs 3:5-6 are verses I hold dear. I believe I have shared on here before that they are my life verses. The wisdom of the writer applies to Abram's situation and to my every waking hours, so I leave you with those thoughts:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

First Dentist Trip

Yesterday, the girls went for their first trip to the dentist. It was quite eventful, but not because of the girls. I had a run in with the assistant who insisted that I either leave two of my kids alone in the waiting room or leave one child alone in the back for her first dental visit. What kind of a parent would do that? My children are 5 and almost 7. We were at the dentist for over 2 hours!! They could not be unsupervised for 2 hours! She told me that there were gals at the front desk and it would be fine. I told her that the gals at the front desk had a job to do and it wasn't baby sitting my children! At that the gals at the front desk looked like they were ready to applaud! lol

This would not have been such a big deal except that this is apparently a brand new rule since June when we were there with D, a new rule that patients were not informed about. I do understand some of the basis for the rule - safety because unruly kids have bumped the dentist while working on a siblings mouth and for space wise in a room with thousands of dollars of equipment. My experience in pediatrics gives me a basis to understand that. But they placed me in a position where I could not back down because my children were already with me. I was polite, but assertive and told them that I would not leave any of my children alone for any reason and that if we all couldn't go back together, then I would be leaving. They allowed it for yesterday but not again, which I understand. So when I have to take D back in December, I will have to find a babysitter for the girls. This may be no big deal to the people in the posh, yuppy dentist office, but it is for us. Likely the rules will be the same at other dental offices so it probably won't be fruitful to look elsewhere

I am not unreasonable and if I had known BEFORE the appt I could have made plans. A more professional approach would have been to send a letter to all their pediatric patients, stating the new policy. This would not have been too costly because pediatrics are the minority of their practice and they are a part of an extremely wealthy dental group. Also, the assistant could have broached it in a kinder and more professional manner instead of flat out saying no and pushing me into the defensive corner. She was young and probably too young to understand about the reactions of Mama Bears when their young are threatened! :o)

So anyway, J went first. I asked her to smile and show me her teeth and this is what she did.

Here she is studying her digital xrays on the monitor, listening to the dentist explain things to me.

Then the dentist explained what he was going to do and he was quite gentle and kind with the children, for which I was thankful. J ended up having an unusual cross bite that hopefully she will outgrow because otherwise it will require an orthodontic plate with screws! Ick! Just like her Mama, when J concentrates and is nervous she bites her lip.

Here is A. She is kind of pale because we have all been fighting bad allergies since we came back home. When we came back down the hill yesterday, the air was so brown that we could almost not make out the skyline of the city in the distance - I had to search for it! The poor kids suffer so bad and it really effects their behavior - which isn't fun for Mom or conducive to productive school work! :o)

A further irritation was that we saw the dental hygienist. Our regular hygienist is just finishing maternity leave and we wanted to wait for her, but they told us that on the first visit they did not see a hygienist, only the DDS. So we scheduled and saw a different hygienist. She turned out to be really nice and gentle and taught me a few tricks for taking care of the kids' teeth. She is an identical twin so we had a great conversation about twinhood, twin parenting etc and that was fun, ending us with an upbeat. The kids did great and I am really proud of them.

Now, does anyone know anything about dental sealants? That's what they want to do to D in December and I don't know anything about them. He has permanent molars and they want to do that to protect from cavities but I am a little leery about putting chemicals in my kids' mouths!

Wellness Wednesday

Welcome back everyone. I had hoped to have some pictures to go with the post, but I'm pooped! :o) It was dentist day. Over the last 2 weeks my weight has gone up and down between 309-312. This morning it was 311#. The variation is likely because of the swelling on my knee/leg. My jeans are baggy on me, so I guess that is a good sign. I really do not want to go backwards!

One thing I forgot to write is that the day that I injured my knee, I walked over 13,000 steps! I was so excited and thought about all my blog friends and how wonderful it was to make a goal of well over 10K, which I had only done once before. That's about 4.5 miles and I had hoped to challenge that number each day we were hiking, but as you know, that did not happen.

Still, I am encouraged about the strength I am gaining and looking forward to meeting with the physical therapist tomorrow to discuss how I can be a bit more active without impacting the knee. As you all suggested, I have been doing the upper body exercises and my kids love those - it's a great way to learn to count. We are up to 100 and my two kindergartners don't even know they are doing math! LOL

Yesterday I did something really fun. I made sourdough whole wheat English muffins. They turned out yummy! It's not difficult, though it has several stages over time. That was good for me because then I wasn't standing all the time. Hubby had some for dinner last night and will soon have a post up on my other blog. Several of you have been nudging me to get posting on My Journey To Wholeness and I do have a few things to post but have just been really absorbed with my children's school and getting better. It seems I have been on a plateau but now that I am not in continual pain, I'm getting the urge to get back full force working on my health. There are still many things I can do that do not require walking and standing!

So, now with the start of this new season and the change of the weather, are any of you doing things differently? Any new changes for you? How can we encourage each other to keep working on our wellness? I am open to ideas.

Where My Toes Came From

Here are some more pictures from my vacation in Washington, mainly posting for my family to see. This is my Auntie Irma, who is the older sister of my Grandpa Johnson. By the end of this post, I will show you where my toes came from! :o)

During my growing up years, my family didn't spend a lot of time with Auntie Irma, but when my Grandpa died, we grew close. And today when I see her, I run for a big hug! She is the living reminder of the only Grandpa I ever knew. This year, Auntie Irma was in a new senior apartment complex that was really nice. Look at the twinkle in her eye - she's in her mid 80s and she still wears purple nail polish, lipstick and fashionable clothing and jewelry.

D, J and A are petting Heidi, Auntie Irma's Pomeranian (who has a "teddy bear" cut). Heidi was a little bit scared of the kids as you can see here. This was our 4th day in a different place and the kids were just giving out. They behaved so horribly that day, I was embarrassed! Fortunately, Auntie Irma has lots of great grandchildren and was very understanding. Her apartment was small, so we went out to lunch at her favorite Mexican restaurant and enjoyed a good time together.

Okay, you know my weight. You know my BMI. Why am I embarassed to show my toes? LOL Probably because California's dry air makes my skin, especially on my feet, dry and icky. My foot's in the brown sandals and Irma's is in the white.

Irma's Husband, Uncle Vern, died not long after my Grandpa. I came and spent a weekend with her at that time and while we were watching TV at night, I looked down and GASPED! I have peculiar toes - the 2nd and 3rd are like conjoined twins and they stick out past my big toe. Because they won't stay together, but spread out in a V, they cause me lots of issues in finding shoes wide enough for my toes! I always wondered where my feet came from, not seeing them elsewhere in my family, but there they were - the same toes at the end of Auntie Irma's feet! We're not sure if that is a Smith or a Johnson trait, but at least I know now, I didn't fall off the turnip truck! LOL

So, aren't you excited? You know where my toes came from! Since having children, I am increasingly interested in seeing how the genes display themselves. Do you look like someone in your family?

My least favorite color is orange...

...but my favorite season is fall! I love the crisp air, the tone of the sunlight, the suspension between hot and cold with one foot in summer, the other in winter, the harvest, the thanks, the feast and my first born's birthday!

Happy First Day of Fall!

Alzheimer's Awareness Day and Songs On Sunday

I apologize in advance for another heavy post, but this was timely for the calendar. This is a little long, but I wanted to share some of my experiences with Alzheimer's Disease and put a face to it, because it is something that people still joke about and don't really understand.

One of my blog friends, Snowbird, reminded me that today is Alzheimer's Awareness Day. The photo above was taken on my vacation, at Hurricane Ridge in Olympic National Park and I chose it because it serves as a metaphor for the havoc Alzheimer's wreaks in a person's mind. The fog rolls in. Occasionally it parts and there are a few lucid moments, but eventually the fog is so thick, one cannot even recognize one's self. If you check Snowbird's post, you will find excellent links and information.

In today's post I want to share with you a little bit of my experience with Alzheimer's Disease, as well as how praising God in song can be a ministry to others.

An important woman in my life was Dorothy Lucille/Ann Larimore (aka Clancy)Duren Johnson. As her name indicates, she had a complicated and stressful life. Born January 2, 1920 in Yakima, Washington, she was christened Dorothy Lucille Larimore. Her parents were poor, an incorrigible mostly Irish man named Melville Larimore and a feisty Polish/Slovakian woman named Annie Dipko. Her early life was marred with arguments, alcoholism, financial distress, the deaths of a sister and an infant half brother, a divorce, time in Seattle Children's Home after running away, and an often harsh stepfather. As a young woman she held her 4 month old daughter Patty in her arms while they rushed to the hospital. Baby Patty never made it there. Her marriage was disappointing. She made a lot of poor choices, one of which led to my father being born out of wedlock. Later she married my Grandpa and they raised three sons - all three of which went on to bring heart ache to their parents. This is the sad part of the story. If I left you with this impression, she would be flat, tragic and unmemorable.

Dot, as she was called by her friends and family, LOVED life! Sometimes I think those who survive great heartaches, live life fuller once they put their minds to it. She was stubborn - if she put her mind to it, she got it done.

She was a mother to four children and grandma to 7. None of her great grandchildren were born when she was alive. In the above picture she is with my Uncle Larry on the left and my Dad on the right, about 1950.

During WWII Grandma organized bomb shelters and helped at the Catholic school where her son attended. She was a volunteer and organizer, a baker and a lover of dance and music, especially from the swing era. Dot was the "go to gal" if someone was sick or injured, which earned her the nickname "Doctor Johnson."

Dot embraced life and was not afraid to work hard, get dirty or have fun. As a girl, I loved to hear tales of Grandma standing on a chair to have an eyebrow pencil line drawn down the back of her legs as she prepared to go to a dance (no nylons during WWII and this mimicked the seam). My favorite story was how she killed her mother's favorite turkey who was mean and chased the children to the outhouse. One night she had it! She beat the turkey with a broom stick. Part of her punishment was plucking him, but she never had to run from the meany again. In the above picture she is helping Grandpa's cousin Ray Beigle carry supplies in for hunting camp.

Dot was a hunter, fisher, camper, hiker, joker,Cribbage player and all around great cook. Having worked hard during the war (her sister Eve was a "Rosie the Riveter"), she held her own in a tough world and wasn't afraid to work and hunt with the men. I believe everyone in this picture is now gone. This is hunting camp about 1948. The old man in the front is my great great grandfather, Loren Harmon Smith from Newaygo county Michigan. He brought that branch of the family to Washington about 1907. He died the year after this picture. His son, daughters and grandchildren don't know it, but the deer head they had mounted as his last - Dot actually shot, but used his tags! He maintained the bragging rights!

As I said, there wasn't much she couldn't do if she put her mind to it. From her I learned to crochet, enjoy looking in second hand stores and garage sales (my daughters sleep under a butterfly quilt she bought me once at a garage sale) and from her I also picked up the bad habit of eating for comfort. And I'll admit it, she spoiled me! At the time I was the only granddaughter and she enjoyed having a little girl. When I was little, I loved nothing better than to spend time with Grandma Johnson and thought of her as my "fun Grandma", though in my later years I realized that was unfair to both of my grandmas.

She was one of the most stubborn people I ever met. When she was mad, watch out! One of my favorite stories about her stubbornness comes from my Mom. She hated Elvis and would complain about his music and gripe that he couldn't sing. Turn him off! Then she went in the kitchen and started working and a song came on the radio. She just had to pipe in, "Now, there's somebody who can sing!" What she didn't know is that the man on the radio WAS ELVIS! LOL

She was stubborn, but she was also a Mother in Law. She is pictured above with one of her daughters in law, my Mom and my beloved kitty Cinders. Although I'm sure she was frustrating at times, she taught my Mom a lot as a young woman, wife and mother.

She was passionate, giving, teaching, loving and fun!

She grieved greatly for the losses in her life and I have often thought that she would be one who would truly understand the ache of my grieving. Underneath the gruff exterior and all her capabilities was a tender heart that few saw. Raised a Catholic, she always longed for greater connection to God, but I believe her own actions/guilt kept her from attending mass or moving forward in her faith.

And then, after Grandpa almost died of heart infection, she became a patient. Back in 1982 Alzheimer's Disease wasn't commonly known. All we knew is that the color had drained from her life. The fog crept in. At first it was embarrassing, awkward and confusing. That's how it felt for us. I can only begin to imagine how she felt inside, knowing that something wasn't quite right and losing a battle to keep all of what she knew to be herself. Initially we could still interact with Grandma and enjoy spending time with her. Later she became paranoid, physically violent and angry.

Before Grandpa took her to the nursing home, where she lived only one week before dying, I would go out to their house to give Grandpa a break and take care of some of her personal hygiene. Grandma had always been nicely dressed and loved to accessorize. Her hair was styled and she always wore the right shade of lipstick. Having extremely wavy/curly hair that I spent hours straightening with a hair dryer and curling iron, I had no idea how to put curlers in her hair. I fumbled and learned. It was hard for me to bathe her as she looked up at me helplessly, somehow knowing that I should not be bathing her as she had bathed me as a child.

Some days I hid my tears. I knew if she saw my pain, it would concern her and worry her. But, gradually I looked forward to those bathing times. Behind the closed door of the bathroom I could speak to her, woman to woman and gently love her in ways that I was not confident to do in front of a family of men who sneered at God. I sang. I didn't know what to sing, but I knew she loved music. So I sang...

Jesus loves me, this I know.

For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong,

They are weak but He is strong.

Her body visibly relaxed and I continued with The Old Rugged Cross, Amazing Grace and whatever other hymns came to mind. I didn't know what Catholics sang, so I didn't know what or if she would recognize any of them. So many times she rocked me, cuddled me and sang to me as a little girl and now as I sang hymns to her, we both felt some of the fear melting away. She was a captive audience in the bath tub. So I told her that God would always be with her and that when she was afraid, she could ask Jesus to help her. My faith was still young in those days and if I had to do it again, I would have read the Scripture to her boldly and I would not have cared how many godless men were listening to me!

One of my most reassuring memories was when we were in the hallway and she pointed to a picture. It was a gaudy, horrible 3D pictures of Jesus praying at Gethsemane in an even gaudier gilt frame. A faded palm leaf from Palm Sunday long past, rested behind the corner. She stopped and pointed and looked at me. She pointed again, repeatedly with her index finger, but in spite of her best efforts could only utter in awe, "Him!" My eyes welled and I nodded affirmation. Him. That's who I had been singing about. That's who I had told her would protect her and comfort her. Him. She repeated, "Oh! Him!" in an admiring and loving tone. It was then that I knew and understood that God transcends time, disease, modern medicine, our understanding and He never abandons us even if by all outward appearances it seems that we could never understand!

Shortly after that she became sick and it was time to place her in a nursing home. Grandpa couldn't handle it alone anymore and in a couple months I was off to college in another city. It was too much.

Towards the end, she knew Grandpa's name and my name most of the time, but not always. She knew we belonged to her and searched our faces for help, recognition and escape. She loathed the nursing home and hours before she died, she grabbed my dress, nearly ripping it and screamed, "Theresa! Don't leave me!" It was the hardest thing I ever did - walking down that hall and out the door as she screamed my name! That evening we received a call. She had been strapped in a wheel chair because she was so agitated and angry; she rocked herself to the point where she had a heart attack. She loathed being caged, imprisoned and neglected.

If you know a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer's Disease, please take the time to stop and talk to them. If appropriate, check and see if you can assist them in some way. Today there are all kinds of programs, some free and some paid, for caregivers to have respite. Our church has one called The Club. Many state and county agencies can provide assistance, but most of all families with Alzheimer's need love from every day people. Prayers are always welcomed and this is something anyone can do!

If you know someone with Alzheimer's Disease, do not avoid them. Treat them like a human being. After all they really are! Do not embarrass them or shame them. Do not assume that because the wires are scrambled in their brains that they do not on some level understand how you are treating them. If appropriate give them a HUG! Sing to them the praises of the Lord. Read God's Word to them which is Living and Active! I am thoroughly convinced that people with brain disease and altered states of consciousness can still hear God speaking to them!

Please, if you lose your keys or misplace your papers, don't make a joke about having Alzheimer's Disease. It's a serious disease. It's no joke. And it certainly isn't funny.

Sadly, our society in general is very rude and lacking in their care of the elderly and anyone different. Alzheimer's Disease can strike anyone. It is not only the disease of the aged. My Grandmother likely began having symptoms in her late 40s. She died at the young age of 67. Alzheimer's is no respecter of race, age, bank account, creed or religion. There is some evidence that an active brain can prolong the onset of symptoms. Knitting is one of the activities that can be helpful! But there are no guarantees. The medical community doesn't know as much as they would like to about Alzheimer's Disease, but there is at least one type which is hereditary. That is a scary sentence for those of us who have lost loved ones in the fog. My neurologist told me that the testing is not generally advised unless Alzheimer's Disease is suspected as a diagnosis because a person could have the gene and never have the disease. Having a positive result could cause a person to live in terrifying fear. So, I have not been tested and likely never will.

A good read about Alzheimer's Disease is Aging With Grace, which chronicles the Nun Study. And a fiction film from Billy Graham's World Wide Pictures, A Vow To Cherish, is a heart wrenching portrayal of early onset Alzheimer's Disease as well as an example of how love is an action, not a feeling.

I hope you never experience it in your family or in your person. But, if you do, please do not isolate yourself. You are not alone. People care. Sometimes people don't know what to say. Sometimes they are afraid. But don't try to go it alone. And by all means, don't try to do it without God!

Today, Grandma, I remember YOU for all those whose memories are buried. Today I lifted my voice and hands to Heaven as I sang and I remembered you.

Faith On Friday

England (in the picture above), represents only one of the stops on both my physical and faith journeys in life. This last week, since hearing and studying about Abraham I have been thinking a lot about faith and what it means.

Dictionary.com gives results from 11 different dictionaries. Some of the entries have up to 9 different definitions of faith. The writer of Hebrews 11:1 (NIV) says: Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Someone in our study asked where the idea of "blind faith" comes in. What a great question! I offered that I felt it comes from the secular world and that God does not expect a blind faith. In fact, the realization has come over me, that my faith truly is a gift from God. The longer I walk with Him, the more I trust that in spite of all I see around me, He is True. Trust is a VERY difficult thing for me. When you've been burnt a number of times, you don't tend to sidle up next to the fire! Where did this trust come from? Honestly, I do not believe it stems from any good or meritable trait within myself. I tend to be cynical and with a medical background and a love of research, I like proof or at least reasonable evidence. So this week I have been mentally tossing it around.

On Dictionary.com, I liked this portion from Easton's Bible dictionary 1897 (faith. (n.d.). Easton's 1897 Bible Dictionary. Retrieved September 19, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/faith):

Faith is in general the persuasion of the mind that a certain statement is true (Phil. 1:27; 2 Thess. 2:13). Its primary idea is trust. A thing is true, and therefore worthy of trust. It admits of many degrees up to full assurance of faith, in accordance with the evidence on which it rests. Faith is the result of teaching (Rom. 10:14-17). Knowledge is an essential element in all faith, and is sometimes spoken of as an equivalent to faith (John 10:38; 1 John 2:3). Yet the two are distinguished in this respect, that faith includes in it assent, which is an act of the will in addition to the act of the understanding. Assent to the truth is of the essence of faith, and the ultimate ground on which our assent to any revealed truth rests is the veracity of God.

What I took from this, besides the fact that I am barely beginning to understand in some ways what I know and believe, is that knowing something is one thing, assenting or agreeing to this information is another. One could be the brightest individual in the world but not use that knowledge and information to better one's own life or the lives of others. Mensa is an organization for those whose IQ score lists in the top 2% of the population. I'm sure there are many worthy people belonging, but I have also heard of Hollywood members with messed up lives touting their Mensa membership. Intelligence, just like money, cannot give you everything. Sometimes it gives you nothing. Most of the efforts we add are like the building blocks of The Tower of Babel - they glorify ourselves and will be destroyed.

I am not a theologian. I've never been to seminary. I don't claim to have a corner market on Biblical knowledge and revelation. I just want to love Him more, better, fuller and grow! And I long to see other dear Sisters in the Lord, grow in their own faith and in their journey with knowing Him. It seems to me that what God is looking for, is not the "volunteer of the year" (though good works are a fruit of our faith and faith without works is dead - James 2:17), nor "Martha Perfect", but willing hearts. God wants people who want to. Please excuse my imperfect grammar. I can have all the knowledge and information in the world, but if I never do anything with that knowledge, it is useless. In other words, I can buy a ticket, but if I don't get on the bus, I'm not going anywhere.

The rest of this quote from the above mentioned 19th century source, takes a bit of thinking to wade through, but I believe it brings up some good points. (You could scroll down to the next black type if you aren't interested.)

Saving faith is a moral act, as it proceeds from a renewed will, and a renewed will is necessary to believing assent to the truth of God (1 Cor. 2:14; 2 Cor. 4:4). Faith, therefore, has its seat in the moral part of our nature fully as much as in the intellectual. The mind must first be enlightened by divine teaching (John 6:44; Acts 13:48; 2 Cor. 4:6; Eph. 1:17, 18) before it can discern the things of the Spirit. Faith is necessary to our salvation (Mark 16:16), not because there is any merit in it, but simply because it is the sinner's taking the place assigned him by God, his falling in with what God is doing. The warrant or ground of faith is the divine testimony, not the reasonableness of what God says, but the simple fact that he says it. Faith rests immediately on, "Thus saith the Lord." But in order to this faith the veracity, sincerity, and truth of God must be owned and appreciated, together with his unchangeableness. God's word encourages and emboldens the sinner personally to transact with Christ as God's gift, to close with him, embrace him, give himself to Christ, and take Christ as his. That word comes with power, for it is the word of God who has revealed himself in his works, and especially in the cross. God is to be believed for his word's sake, but also for his name's sake. Faith in Christ secures for the believer freedom from condemnation, or justification before God; a participation in the life that is in Christ, the divine life (John 14:19; Rom. 6:4-10; Eph. 4:15,16, etc.); "peace with God" (Rom. 5:1); and sanctification (Acts 26:18; Gal. 5:6; Acts 15:9). All who thus believe in Christ will certainly be saved (John 6:37, 40; 10:27, 28; Rom. 8:1). The faith=the gospel (Acts 6:7; Rom. 1:5; Gal. 1:23; 1 Tim. 3:9; Jude 1:3).

What I took from this, is that I need to have knowledge of who God is (I highly recommend doing a study, like Lord I Want To Know You. Understanding more of God's character increases your trust in Him to fulfill His promises to you.), but I also have to decide whether I will "sit" on this knowledge or do something about it.

For example, I knew about God from an early age. I believed the way a child believes and this belief was tested by fire. But, when I was 11, the Gospel was presented to me and for the first time in my life, the eyes of my heart were WIDE OPEN. I knew. I understood. Then I chose. Once I understood what I knew, I had no other option than to choose Him. I was compelled to move forward, I was compelled to choose baptism and there was no turning back. Please, I'm not bragging on myself. This was the work of the Holy Spirit coming to fruition in my heart. Romans promises that those He calls, will be justified. If anyone ever tells you that they did something to receive God's love or eternal salvation, then they are selling you a lie and do not know the truth of God, because all of our righteousness is as filthy rags to God. (Isaiah 64)

How do we know who God is? How do we take that next step? What do we do if we are "stuck"? If you are feeling "stuck" right now or just not able to even "feel" right now - please don't turn away. Please don't let the words of men, or for that matter, my words, turn you away. Being stuck is a part of a growth pattern. The key is not to stay stuck. We all go through spiritual dry periods, but we need to choose NOT to stay there. Many times this is easier said than done. I don't know about you, but when I don't "feel" like doing something, it is so hard to get it done... or even get it started.

I couldn't find the verse, but I remember reading that God KNOWS who we are and He is mindful of our frame, that we are but dust. That is to say, He made us (Psalm 139) and He understands how we work. He understands both our capabilities and our shortcomings. He will never ask me to do something I cannot. You wouldn't ask your vacuum cleaner to wash the dishes would you? He is mindful of how you are made and when you are weak, He is strong. Paul wasn't joking when the Holy Spirit inspired him to write, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) Nor, when he wrote Philippians 1:6: "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." God keeps working on His UFOs (unfinished objects for you un-knitterly types!). He never abandons them! If you doubt His calling, His love for you, the gifts He has endowed you with, please read the first two chapters of Ephesians. Do you know He is describing you?

Get to know this God in His Word.

Get to know this God in the praises of His people.

Get to know this God in fellowshipping with His family.

Get to know this God in all He has created.

Get to know this God in conversation with Him.

You cannot shock God.

He will not plug His ears or turn His head.

You don't even have to explain yourself.

He knows.

He even understands.

He loves us anyway.

When you can't feel Him there, that's when He is likely closest to you.

I couldn't find the reference, but I remember reading, underlined in red in my Grandma Hopkins' Bible, that He promises to be with us even to our old age and gray hairs, even to the end. She leaned on that promise every day. She knew He meant it. He means the same for you.

When you don't want to open the Bible,

When you don't want to pray,

When you don't want to sing,

When you don't want to fellowship,

When you don't want to talk,

When you don't want to think,

When you don't want to feel,

When you don't want to take another step,

When you don't want to wake up the next morning,

Ask Him,

Ask Him to help you want to,

Ask Him to help you,

Ask Him to hold you,

Ask Him to strengthen you,

Ask Him to lead you,

Ask Him to guide you,

Ask Him to teach you,

Ask Him to show you,

Ask Him to tell you,

Ask Him to meet you where you are,

He will be there!

And sometimes we need to practice Psalm 46:10 - Be still and know that He is God!

The Psalmist writes over and over, that he called on God because he knew God would answer. Call on Him. He will answer. He is the answer.

When you are weak, He is strong. He will listen for your voice. He will answer.

When you fall, get up.

When you fall again, get up.

When your heart is bursting, get up.

When you can't get up, know He is holding you in His everlasting arms, that He is hiding you in the shadow of your wings.

Abraham had faith. God gave him the ticket. Abraham "got on the bus". God worked miracles in him.

Theresa had faith. God gave her the ticket. Theresa "got on the bus". Man! What a journey it has been. God worked miracles in her.

Are you holding a ticket? Do you need a ticket?

Ask for faith. Take the ticket. "Get on the bus." Don't let the enemy steal your joy. "Keep on keeping on." When you get to the desert, know that "this too shall pass."

If you are struggling, know that you are loved. If you would like me to pray for your faith journey, feel free to email me (address on upper right) so that it is private. I don't have all the answers, but I know He does. Just as you bless me with your encouragement when I am weak, sad and discouraged, I hope to bless you.

This study of Abraham has left me much to ponder. I want to know Him more and more and understand the mystery and riches He has given me. At this time I am thankful for the prompting our new sermon series and Bible study has given! And if you read this far, thank you. If you are feeling "spiritually up", pray for those who are feeling "spiritually down" or "stuck". The greatest gift we can give each other is prayer - lifting each other up to the Father!